Why I Pray Assholes Grow Over

It took a long time for me to finally understand why my Pops used to cuss at the news and say, "I hope that bastard's asshole grows over." As a kid that didn't make a helluva lotta sense, but now, it makes all the fucking sense in the world. If you're gonna be that full of shit, you ought to have to fucking die from your own!

I've got a list a mile long of people who deserve to one day experience the painful death of septic shock due to literally being full of it. I should write a goddamn book about it. In fact, I came up with a title several years back. It's called, "Pricks, Pinheads, and Cocksuckers: Why their assholes should grow over." That's a New York Times bestseller if I ever heard of one.

Now I know you're probably saying, Wow, that's a little harsh; so let me clarify. I'm not talking about the jerk off that cuts you off at the intersection, or even the asshole that's three people behind you in line at the grocery store and when the register next to you opens up, he quickly rushes ahead of everyone - although a revised edition of the book may have a chapter reserved for him. I'm talking about people like George W Bush and Dick Cheney. Just listen to DICK for a few minutes. I mean, here is a guy who clearly does not give one flying fuck about anything but his own ego.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=csKkdKlLUTc

HEY ASSHOLE! In early 2003 Generals Zinn and Shinseki warned Congress of the same inevitablilties, and what happend to them? Oh, early retirement, that's right. What the fuck ever. Forced out for speaking out, for speaking the truth. What the fuck DICK? And all the dipshits in Congress who voted to give this lunatic administration the authorization to invade a country that never attacked us, a country that was 2/3 a no fly zone, FUCK YOU, TOO, Democrats and Republicans alike!

I got into a discussion one night with some friends about this whole decision to go to war. They tried to say that no one could have predicted how difficult it was going to be once Saddam was gone. I don't remember who this discussion was with, but whoever it was and whoever believes that crock of shit, goes in the Pinhead chapter of my book.

A little history, a little math, a map, and just a shread of fucking common sense concludes that Iraq was a butt-fuck-a-thon waiting to happen. I knew it. A handfull of others knew it, and were vocal about it , and we were called cowards and unpatriotic. This is one where I wish I was wrong, but unfortunately I'm not. So to those of you who said to us that opposed the war from the start that we didn't support the troops, FUCK YOU! There are those of us that believe that the men and women who sacrafice the conveniences of civilian lives to protect our country should only be asked to do the unthinkable as a very last resort. It is absolutely clear that the Iraq war is unnecessary.

Thousands of ruined lives and hundreds of billions of dollars later, or honorable men and women are still in an impossible position. I read the horror stories in the paper, I watch the terrible reports on the news, and I struggle with the worry of a close friend on the front lines in Baghdad as I type. I'm not a religious man, but still I pray for them. And you can bet your sweet ass that my prayer for George Bush, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld, and all the other architects of this clusterfuck of a war is: I hope the bastards assholes grow over!

A side note: According to the Washington Post today, a very large majority of you may just agree with me...It's about fucking time!

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2008/04/14/AR2008041402842.html